Triumphal Return of the Cows
Well, it's been a while - 4 years, in fact. But the cows are back! Enjoy!
BLAIRISM:
You say you think your enemy has two cows, and go to war over it.
WESTMINSTERISM:
You have two cows. You claim for them both.
ETHICAL GIFTISM:
You have two goats. They are given to a family in Africa.
FASHIONISTAS:
You have two llamas. Cows are so last year.
PARANOIA:
You have two cows. Why does the one on the right keep looking at you funny?
SHAKESPEAREISM
You have two cows and two bulls. For spurious reasons the cows dress as bulls and the bulls dress as cows. Much hilarity ensues.
BRONTEISM:
You have three cows. They live on the moors in Yorkshire and die tragically young.
JANE AUSTENISM:
You have a cow and a bull. They are obviously made for each other, but don't find out until Chapter 18.
LIBERAL DEMOCRATS:
You have two cows. Your neighbours have 8 cows and 11 cows respectively, but you still think your cows stand a chance.
VENTURE CAPITALISM - AN ICELANDIC CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened byyour brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associatedgeneral offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman IslandCompany secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all sevencows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public thenbuys your bull.
WIKIPEDIANISM:
You have two cows. Cows are green in colour and descended from horses. Their diet consists mainly of waffles with maple syrup and their favourite activities include ice skating.
More to come... Please suggest more in the meantime!
BLAIRISM:
You say you think your enemy has two cows, and go to war over it.
WESTMINSTERISM:
You have two cows. You claim for them both.
ETHICAL GIFTISM:
You have two goats. They are given to a family in Africa.
FASHIONISTAS:
You have two llamas. Cows are so last year.
PARANOIA:
You have two cows. Why does the one on the right keep looking at you funny?
SHAKESPEAREISM
You have two cows and two bulls. For spurious reasons the cows dress as bulls and the bulls dress as cows. Much hilarity ensues.
BRONTEISM:
You have three cows. They live on the moors in Yorkshire and die tragically young.
JANE AUSTENISM:
You have a cow and a bull. They are obviously made for each other, but don't find out until Chapter 18.
LIBERAL DEMOCRATS:
You have two cows. Your neighbours have 8 cows and 11 cows respectively, but you still think your cows stand a chance.
VENTURE CAPITALISM - AN ICELANDIC CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened byyour brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associatedgeneral offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman IslandCompany secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all sevencows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public thenbuys your bull.
WIKIPEDIANISM:
You have two cows. Cows are green in colour and descended from horses. Their diet consists mainly of waffles with maple syrup and their favourite activities include ice skating.
More to come... Please suggest more in the meantime!
posted by RLS at 8:11 am
5 Comments:
James Cameronism - You have two cows, one is blue and you are destroying its planet.
I like this. Keep 'em coming!
x
Ridley Scottism - You have two cows. One is Russell Crowe and he will have his vengeance, in this life or the next.
Theatreism - You have two cows. One is cardboard and the other one has been taken away to pay for the Olympics.
Fringe Theatreism - All you ever wanted was a cardboard cow, but it's been taken away to pay for the Olympics. Instead you have an out-of-work-actor/estate-agent's-receptionist playing a cow.
Appleism - You have two cows, both are white and shiny. Both of them are touchscreen cows that can only eat apple grass bought from the apple grass store. Everyone else has two cows just like them. You are deeply hip.
Microsoftism - You have two cows, but neither are compatible, one of them just crashed due to bad grass, and the other needs more RAM. They can eat eighty different kinds of grass, and each will make them behave slightly differently.
Linuxism - You have two cows, which were free, and very powerful, but you're not entirely sure how to use them and while all the grass they eat is free, some of it is rubbish and most of it comes without a GUI. You're not sure what a GUI is, but you need one.
I LOVE the Microsoft one. Have you been thinking about these all afternoon? :-)
x
ENGLISH FOOTBALL
You have two cows. You screw them both.
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