I Fought the Law

Actually, I didn't fight as such, but politely did what I was told to by the nice policeman. Technically, though, I did break the law, by holding a counter-demonstration within the square mile around parliament without a permit. This "counter-demonstration" entailed about 7 of us with a single, home-made placard declaring "Cashmere with those trousers? I don't think so! Read Leviticus!" and was in response to the fuss-about-nothing protest that was going on next to us which I found profoundly irritating. The Guardian explains it better than me, but in a nutshell the government has tidied up the laws to make it actually illegal to actively discriminate against gay people, e.g. it's now official a Bad Thing to put up a sign in a guesthous saying "No Gays". The Lords passed it, though probably because when they vote against the government the government reminds them there are moves afoot to abolish what is largely a bunch of unelected, undemocratic old people.

What worries me is that such a law is even necessary. It strikes me as somewhat counter-productive if you are, say, the owner of a guesthouse to turn down a paying couple purely because of their sexuality. Having a law saying "you're not allowed to say "No Gays" - it's not nice" seems in a similar vein to the warning on the back of Anusol that states it is "not to be taken orally". Campaigners from such charming organisations as The Christian Voice trotted out the old argument that they have nothing against homosexuals, they just don't like anal sex, but this implies that said guesthouse owner or, more ridiculously, someone letting out a hall or other venue for a gay event is readily expecting sodomy galore on their premises. Aside from this being a bit daft, to say the least, I think that someone who provides a service isn't generally in a position to pick and choose who receives that service, provided they pay for it. One particularly nice chap (I'm being ironic)who told me in all seriousness he would support a law to bring back the stoning of those engaging in extra-marital sex or homosexual acts (and when I said I hadn't noticed the asterix and subsequent footnote attached to the old "Thou shalt not kill commandment" simply called me ignorant) told me that forbidding someone to have sex on your premises was no different to forbidding them from smoking. When I said there was no such thing as passive gay sex and he could not get lung cancer from it he said "Yes there is! I could get AIDS and it would corrupt my children!" I assume from this that he intends for his children to watch and for himself to join in, in which case I can't think of many of my friends who would want to darken the doors of his proverbial guesthouse anyway.

The most exciting part of the evening was meeting - and being warned by - the infamous PC MacNally (infamous if you've seen any of Mark Thomas's recent shows.) Poor old PC Mac is the guy you need to contact if you want to stage a protest within a mile of parliament, and thanks to Mark he's been a busy chap recently. He looked fairly non-plussed by the Christians waving their "Cry Freedom" (yeah, I know, I thought that too) banners and banging their tambourines, and apologied about the fact that our measley little collective was technically in breach of the law, but if we were a bunch of gays, lesbians and their friends who just happened to be walking by and saw the demo and decided to stay and engage in friendly conversation with some of its supporters then that was fine.

In completely unrelated news, Moz is going to win Eurovision for us! Or, as The Guardian so beautifully put it, "Miserable Git to the Rescue". Actually, we probably won't win on the basis that nobody likes us, because we keep bombing people - People of Europe: Please, please, please, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time (since 1997).