Oh Charles don't you ever crave to appear on the front of the Daily Mail...

And so the sun shines over Elephant, and today's big news is that Prince Charles isn't too keen on the press. Hey, no shit, Sherlock. What did you expect? And what's more the press seem surprised, so they must be stupider than we thought. I almost feel sorry for Prince Charles. Almost. I mean the poor guy didn't ask to be heir to the throne any more than he asked to be a dithering idiot with a penchant for organic biscuits. But unfortunately, if you do get lumbered with being heir to the throne and a dithering idiot, well, you presumably come to expect some press intrusion. But honestly, there are more important things going on, like, say, world hunger? Terrorism? Elections in Zimbabwe? Elections here? Earthquakes in Asia? Planes crashing in Albania (yeah, that slipped right off the agenda), the Pope on his last legs? (Or was that a cruel jibe at an old bloke who drives around in a golf buggy? It wasn't meant to be.) And all you care about is a posh bloke who's getting married in Windsor Guildhall and wishes everyone else would quite frankly bugger off.

Talking of the Pope...
Actually, we thought he'd died already when they only showed his back on TV on Easter Sunday. We weren't far off. Apparently they didn't show him as he was on a ventilator. Now, much as I have issues with many of the things the Catholic Church has said and done, and many thing's John Paul II himself has said, I do think the Pope's an amazing man who has done amazing things, not least standing up for peace, and I do feel terribly sorry for him; he's old, in fact he's I think the second longest-serving Pope in history, and as such he should have retired and taken up dominoes and 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles like everyone else. But instead he has to go out on his balcony and wave at tourists every day while Cardinal Ratzinger et al stand at his shoulder and translate, for the benefit of the world's media, "The Pope says God Bless you all, and to tell all you homosexuals you're disordered and intrinsically evil." Nice move.

I hope the Pope dies peacefully.

ELECTION FEVER
There's a Conservative election poster just down the road from us. It runs "How hard can it be to keep a hospital clean? Are you thinking what we're thinking?" I really want to attack it with a spray can and answer "I doubt it."