Don't Stop Me Now

So, the lovely people at Mind suggested I start a "running blog" to "help" with my training. This strikes me as not particularly useful for two reasons: 1.) I shall spend more time procrastinating about what on earth I can write on said running blog than I will doing any actual running and 2.) I can't think of anything remotely interesting to write about running anyway. I'm thinking my (admittedly small) readership will be even less interested in "Today I ran 5K in Regents Park. I ran past the zoo and saw some camels" (all true, incidentally) than they would in, say, jokes about cows.

So I'm going to do a bit of a plug instead, and leave it at that. If the plug works and some of you sponsor me, I can guarantee you won't have to put up with a "running blog". If you don't, well, I may reconsider...

So... Lovely Helen, Lovely Nicky and I are running a 10K (suppress your giggles, please!) in May for two lovely charities (there's a lot of loveliness going on here. Are you feeling the loveliness?) They are Mind and Cancer Research UK. I'm running for Cancer Research UK in memory of, well, quite a few people actually: my mate Will, who I blogged about in November, my friend Kirsty, who died while we were at school, my mum's friend Anne who died last year, and my granny. (I know. Chirpy stuff.) I won't lecture, as they basically do what it says on the tin - research into cancer, in terms of treatment, prevention and cure. Anyway, you can sponor us here. We're also running for Mind, who do an awful lot of stuff, in particular lots of awareness-raising and campaigning, which obviously appeals to the (currently dormant) activist within me. They also have a brilliant helpline, staffed by real people (don't knock it - this is rare these days!) which needs funds in order to keep going. My sponorship page for that is here.

My training earlier in the year was foiled by keen people who insisted on going to my gym as part of ill-fated New Year's resolutions. Happily most of those good intentions seem to have fallen by the wayside, and I now have to share my gym only with the perspiring, goal-oriented advertising execs in their shiny designer sports clothing who run at double my speed, thus producing double my sweat, on the treadmill next to me while a personal trainer shouts motivational abuse at them. I had a personal trainer once, for a couple of weeks, who was not of that ilk at all. I think she thought I was a lost cause, frankly, because she didn't bother with any of that stuff. Her name was Meggie (actually it was Maggie but she was Australian) and her catchphrase was "ah, good on ya." She would ask me what exercise I'd done since she last saw me, and whatever the answer she would say "Ah, good on ya." I think if I'd said "Well, to be honest, Maggie, I was knackered so I went home, cracked open some cans of Carlsberg and watched Shameless while eating a takeaway curry" she would still have said "Ah, good on ya." Meggie's style of personal training involved suggesting I might like to do some exercise, saying nice, encouraging things while I failed miserably at whatever it was we'd decided to do, then asking me what I'd seen at the cinema that weekend. Conversely the other chap who I once saw when Meggie was on holiday had a rather different style, which involved shouting "If it isn't hurting it isn't working" at you as you fell off the back of the treadmill, then made you lie down on the floor and contorted your body into positions which I'm sure were never intended until you felt your bones crack.

Anyway, those days are gone now - I have neither the cash nor the inclination to be ritually humiliated in the evenings and I now have a nice little routine of 6K on the treadmill and 10 on a bike and a bit of pilates while savouring the delights the iPod Shuffle function has to offer.

Rather like the whole divorce thing, the internet seems to be flooded with whole chat threads on various exercise forums dedicated to the most optimum tracks to accompany your exercise. They're generally loud and stirring, the sort of stuff that's meant to inspire you onwards in your quest for your medal and complementary goody bag of crap. There's a big 70s love-in going on on one site, which is a pretty good era for that sort of stuff, and generally everyone's singing the praises of the likes of Bat Out of Hell, Don't Stop Me Now, Eye of the Tiger and Living on a Prayer. There are a few trance music devotees, a not inconsiderable show of support for heavy metal, and another contingent who favour the bouncy drivel of S Club and Steps, which I presume has its place if you're trying to get a rhythm going, and I suppose is somewhat motivational if you pretend you're running away from it. I was pleased to see one person recommend Amarillo, though that's probably just because the Peter Kay video involved Ronnie Corbett falling off a treadmill.

I was going to respond to one of these when my iPod played me the following selection yesterday:

Joy Divison - Love Will Tear Us Apatr
Eels - Climbing to the Moon
The Smiths - Stretch Out and Wait
Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights
Morrissey - Life is a Pigsty
The Clash - Rock the Casbah
The Cranberries - Linger
Bob Dylan - A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall
The Smiths - I Won't Share You
Nick Cave - Where the Wild Roses Grow

I figured that, with the possible exception of The Clash, none of these would appear on any such forum, and having looked, I think I was right, but it was an interesting experiment.

One tip though - I think I've found the ultimate track to run to: ELP's Fanfare For The Common Man. Seriously. Try it. And whether you try it or not, please sponsor me!!!