Blair's Big Idea/Estate Agent Jargon

Housing is finally back on the political agenda, with Brown looking at increasing opportunities for first time buyers by doing away with stmp duty etc. which is rather nice for me as I'm hoping to get a mortgage some time within the next Millennium. But it seems it's all part of a big idea of Blair's to increase home ownership to 80% of the population.

Which is all very noble. But doesn't that sound familiar to you?

HOW TO BUILD A COUNCIL HOUSE
What about the 20% who still won't own their own homes? What about the 9% of the population who currently live in Council housing? It's great to increase home ownership, but the more people who own their homes, the greater the divide between them and those who don't.

Currently you can wait up to 10 years for a council house. I know a single parent who has been told she will have to wait five years, and in the meantime should carry on living with her parents, brother and sister. And what do you get for all the waiting?

There are two council estates next to one another in Camden (there are loads of council estates in Camden, but these are next to each other.) One is I presume mostly consisting of now privately-owned dwellings, with nice white doors with shiny door knockers and plant pots on the doorsteps. It's lowrise, all double-glazed, there's lots of community space, some have gardens, the outside is nicely kept up, it's good for transport etc. Next door is another block, slightly higher rise, with one communal entrance instead of separate terrace-like entrances. It's in need of a bit of a face-lift. There doesn't seem to be any communal space and it's surrounded by a big fence with barbed wire on top. All in all it looks a bit like a prison.

If you don't like rants, best stop reading...

A friend of ours is an architect and was recently asked to design a block intended for public housing tenants. When he presented his design they looked at ways to cut costs.
Firstly they got rid of extra aesthetic features - bye-bye to the window boxes and the nice doors etc.
Then they got rid of noise insulation.
Then heat insulation.
Then they said they couldn't have a playground - it was expensive and would expose them to possibly getting sued if there were any accidents.
Then they said no to carpetting in the corridors.
Then they turned possible shop space into more flats - experience had taught them that nobody would rent out the shops as they were not commercially successful.

How lucky you are if you get into that block.

YOU CAN LOOK BACK NOW!!!
I have been browsing the internet for flats. I found a car parking space for sale off the King's Road for a mere £20,000. Bargain. Our house in Lancashire was worth two of them!

COSY FLAT, BUSTLING AREA. A BARGAIN!!!
I have found some interesting jargon:

A cosy flat - a shoe box
On a bustling road - noisy
In a peaceful area - miles from anywhere
In a trendy area close to bars and pubs - people vomitting on your doorstep at 1am
An unusual flat - something's wrong with it
A bargain - something's wrong with it
In a purpose-built block - on a council estate
In this prestigious block - in this overpriced block
Great views over London - at the top of a high-rise block
Period-decorated - needs redecorating
Within reach of local transport - quite a long way from local transport
With character - old
Modern decor - no character
Almost unbelievable price - actually quite believeable
Open-plan studio - bedsit
Separate bathroom - not a very nice flat or we wouldn't need to point this out
Low-maintenance garden - yard
Patio - small yard
Close to London Metropolitan University - this flat is so crap we assume only students will want it.
A stone's throw from transport links - how close depends on what you throw the stone with.
In the heart of King's Cross - if you live here you will get mugged
On the edge of Bloomsbury - in King's Cross
Close to Greenwich - Deptford
In East Dulwich - in Peckham
Close to Tesco - and Tesco is as good as it gets

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