Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

I've finally seen it. I am proud to say I was restrained enough not to see it until a month after it came out, but today, well, it had been a long week and I wanted to chill out in front of a film with plenty of (overpriced) Cookies and Cream Haagan Dasz. Now, it's got some seriously awful reviews, and some pretty good ones, and these guys even started a campaign to boycott it (guys, you REALLY need to get out more.) I'm not going to try and compete with any of these people - not even the nutbars or the miserable bloke from the Guardian. There's a good reason I'm not a film critic. But generally, I was impressed. Maybe this was because everyone had hyped it up as being "not a patch on the original" (yeah, remember those 1970s special effects? Can't beat 'em.) It took a while to get going. I think it was trying to set up the story but in my opinion it could have done it in half the time and with half the number of computerized robots shooting the crap out of each other. The second half, though, was brilliant. A bit Disneyfied, perhaps, in that everything goes dark the more evil the Bad Guy becomes, just in case you weren't sure he WAS the bad guy (remember the Lion King when Scar dies and suddenly the sun is out for the first time in years? You get the idea.) But then, I just had enough of that doing Emily Bronte as a student. It was all a bit too psychological for me: bad guy wants to save his wife (as you would, really), gets more evil, wife dies (having tied up the next bit of the story by giving birth to Leah and Luke beforehand), well, that's it, no looking back now. Welcome, Darth Vader, and go and buy the box set to remind yourself what happened next. The script wasn't bad, either, which was surprising in a way as you expect them to fall back on special effects, which they could happily get away with. Precious little C3PO (he irritates me. I was at school with a guy just like that.) Not too much soppy stuff (Anakin-used-to-be-such-a-nice-guy-what-happened), lots of Obi Wan Kenobi )my personal favourite as he inspired an agony aunt column called Obu Wan Canoodle I once wrote for my school paper) and almost enough Yoda. (You can never have too much Yoda.)

And since I can't think of anything funny to say, I have dug out the following "Yoda song" by some American guy called Weird Al Yancovic, sung to the tune of "Lola" by The Kinks (and i found the chords too!)

E
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
A D
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated
E A
Soda S-O-D-A soda
E
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
A D
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said
E A D C D E
Yoda Y-O-D-A Yoda Yo yo yo yo Yoda
E
Well I've been around but I ain't never seen
A D
A guy who looks like a Muppet but he's wrinkled and green
E A
Oh my Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda
E
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
A D
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
E A D C D E
Oh my Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda

B7
Well I left home just a week before
F#7
And I never ever been a Jedi before
A
But Obi-wan, he set me straight of course
A
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force."
E
Well, I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben
A D
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again with my
E A D C D E
Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda
E A D C D E
Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda

A E B
So I used the Force
A E B
I picked up a box
A E B
I lifted some rocks
E G#7 C#m
While I stood on my head
B B6
But I won't forget what Yoda said
E
He said, "Luke, stay away from the darker side,
A D
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide."
E A
Oh, my Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda
E
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
A D
But, remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed
E A
Oh, my Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda
B7
Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess
F#7
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess
A
But I know that I'll be coming back some day
A
I'll be playing this part till I'm old and gray
E
The long-term contract I had to sign
A D
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
E A D C D E
Oh, my Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda
E A D C D E
Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda
E A D C D E
Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda yo yo yo yo Yoda