So, in case you were wondering what the Cheesm was talking about (I presume you weren't), it's true, I am going to be (in the loosest sense of the word) "published". Loose, because my publisher is rather the Ryanair of the publishing world, that it to say, they don't get much from me, and I don't get much from them. This is a Good Thing in that nobody else is going to even look at a book of short stories about dead cats and Catholics whose ideal audience is probably retired people of that section of the middle classes who haven't quite progressed to the "we-have-an-aga" status, and who spend their days listening to Radio 4 and occasionally watching plays by Alan Bennett. Anyway, my publishers have conceded that this is quite niche, but that dead cats make them laugh too (that's a relief, I thought it was just me) and they are doing a small print run and have slightly oxymoronically told me that because I'm a new writer they can't afford to do any sort of marketing, but the book will be on Amazon and in various bookshops so they'll see how it goes. This seems bizarre, since nobody is going to buy it unless they know about it, and if none sell, they won't publicise it, so nobody will know about it.

Anyway, I am going to have to become a sales person for a while in order to encourage them to take "Home" which is much better than the first book. So I will keep you all updated. The other up-side of all this is that the book will be very cheap - £4.99 - so hopefully some people will buy it, if only for that reason.

Oh, and while I'm here, "Rooney undergoes metatarsal scan" is not news! Or, if you insist that it is, this is just as important.